Friday Humour

Subject: Friday Humour
From: Damien Braniff <Damien_Braniff -at- PAC -dot- CO -dot- UK>
Date: Fri, 23 Jan 1998 12:15:09 +0000

I don't know about elsewhere but here it's REVIEW time of the year and I
thought the following might raise a smile (or even help!) if you're in that
situation. It's from the Personnel Journal of many moons ago and defines
the terms used by Personnel - what they really mean.


EVALUATING PERFORMANCE APPRAISAL TERMINOLOGY

(Personnel Journal, July 1981)

Term Actual Meaning

Average employee Not too bright

Exceptionally well qualified Made no major blunders yet

Active socially Drinks heavily

Family is active socially Wife drinks too

Character above reproach Still one step ahead of the law

Zealous attitude Opinionated

Quick thinking Offers plausible excuses for errors

Careful thinker Won?t make a decision

Takes pride in his work Conceited

Plans for advancement Buys drinks for the boss

Shows great promise Related to managing Director

Forceful Argumentative

Aggressive Obnoxious

Tactful with superiors Knows when to keep his mouth shut

Uses logic on hard problems Finds another person to do the job

A keen analyst Thoroughly confused

Not the desk type Didn?t go to college

Expresses self well Speaks English fairly well

Spends extra hours on job Miserable home life

Conscientious Scared

Meticulous attention to details A nit picker

Has leadership qualities Is tall or has a loud voice

Exceptionally good judgement Extremely lucky

Keen sense of humour Vast repertoire of dirty jokes

Strong principles Stubborn

Career minded A back stabber

Coming along fine About to be fired

Gets along extremely well with superiors and peers alike A coward

Of great value to the organisation Gets to work on time



Damien Braniff
Technical Author
PAC International




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