Re: DemonSME

Subject: Re: DemonSME
From: "Mason, Catheryn" <CMason -at- INFINITEC-COM -dot- COM>
Date: Thu, 20 Aug 1998 18:06:57 -0500

In response to Anonymous:

You have my sympathy and support! I agree with George Mena's comments
about calling this bully's bluff. May I suggest some coping strategies
while you get this situation worked out? I was particularly struck by
this part of your post:
< snip >
She's a good ten years younger than me, but makes it a point to ask me,
time and time again, in front of
other people, if this is my first job out of college. She recommended,
in an email CC:ed to probably twenty people I've never heard of in my
life, that I might be interested in taking some basic computer literacy
classes that are being offered nearby.
< snip >

You do not have to accept this sort of childish aggression. I think
that I would have been too shocked by this behavior to respond - at
first. But now that you *know* that she acts this way, and have had some
time to reflect and strategize, prepare your response for the next time.
If you embarrass her (subtly) in front of other people, I bet she'll
stop this "just out of college" stuff. You could respond, for example,
with something like, "You know, you've asked me that before. It must be
my youthful good looks, because I graduated college in 19xx. When did
you get your degree?" She is so obviously trying to belittle you and
undermine your standing and your confidence; do not let her get away
with it. She wants to be in control of the situation; take the control
back. A few snappy comebacks to her snide remarks could do the trick. It
won't solve the larger problem (about which I've seen some excellent
advice), but it may serve to make her think twice before insulting you
in front of other people again. And about the "basic computer literacy
classes," if she sends you more e-mails like this and copies them to
other people, politely reply to *all* recipients and say something like
"I don't quite understand - did you intend this message for me? I'm sure
that the classes you mention are quite good, but I've had xx years
experience (cite your credentials) and I really don't need this sort of
information. Perhaps I've misunderstood your message - is there some way
in which I can help you?" I'm sure that you have your own style for
handling this sort of thing - I'm just throwing out ideas to get you
thinking along the lines of possible responses to her unacceptable
behavior. If you turn her attempt to "help" (control, insult, belittle)
you around and instead offer to help her, it may (again) just make her
think twice before attempting this bull with you again. Protect yourself
- do it carefully, do it wisely, but do it. You need to watch your own
back until you get this straightened out. I really hope that that will
be soon.

Another respondent said "People like this eventually do themselves in,
but it may take a while." And while you're waiting, let her know that
you will not be pushed around. Good luck to you!


From ??? -at- ??? Sun Jan 00 00:00:00 0000=



Previous by Author: Question about LEDs
Next by Author: Re: sign-off
Previous by Thread: DemonSME
Next by Thread: Re: DemonSME


What this post helpful? Share it with friends and colleagues:


Sponsored Ads