Borg Technical Writers

Subject: Borg Technical Writers
From: "Carnall, Jane" <Jane -dot- Carnall -at- compaq -dot- com>
To: "'TECHWR-L'" <techwr-l -at- lists -dot- raycomm -dot- com>
Date: Tue, 14 Dec 1999 09:36:19 -0000

A little something for a TECHWR-L stocking for Xmas...

"Borg Technical Writers: Working with the Collective"
by E. Melanie Lever (aka Melanie of Borg)
Copyright E. Melanie Lever, 1999.
By the time you have finished reading this, you will have been assimilated.

Borg technical writers always meet their deadlines.

Borg technical writers work 24 hours a day.

Borg technical writers do not argue with clients. they assimilate them.

Borg technical writers do not have individual identities, so they never
worry about getting named in the credits.

Borg technical writers are team players -- they acknowledge that a project
is the effort of the entire group.

Borg technical writers have evolved to automatically generate writing that
can be understood by everyone.

Borg technical writers always stick to the rules of grammar.

Borg technical writers are often accused of over-use of the passive voice.

Borg technical writers have assimilated all [bestselling software] products
and made them work.

Borg technical writers ARE the online help.

Borg technical writers use serial commas without question.

Borg technical writers do not proofread because it is not possible for them
to make an error.

When a client makes last minute changes to the text generated by the Borg
technical writers, the Borg assimilate the client.

When Borg technical writers finish a job they assimilate the client.

If Borg technical writers did over-quote, you'll never know, because by then
you would have been assimilated.

And of course, Borg technical writers think beige computers ARE colourful.

Jane Carnall
Technical Writer, Compaq, UK
Unless stated otherwise, these opinions are mine, and mine alone.

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