HUMOR: I need Help (REPOST)

Subject: HUMOR: I need Help (REPOST)
From: Andrew Plato <intrepid_es -at- yahoo -dot- com>
To: "TECHWR-L" <techwr-l -at- lists -dot- raycomm -dot- com>
Date: Wed, 24 Oct 2001 22:34:36 -0700 (PDT)

I think its time for another installment of this...


I need help, fellow Techwhirlers. I have a few questions. Sorry if they
seem a little dumb. I am a newbie, incapable of using the archives or an
Internet search engine.

What is that thing that goes at the end of sentences? Not that squiggly
thing, the little little dot thing. Gosh, I have looked in all my help
files and cannot find the name of that anywhere.

Also, I just started working for a small, worthless company. Tell me all
the software, hardware, office supplies, and lunch items I should buy. I
have been thinking about a ham and Swiss for lunch, but someone said the
meatball sub was an industry standard. Also, please have a lengthy debate
about FrameMaker vs. Word. Personally, I think people who use Word are
sub-human scum undeserving of even basic human rights. What do you think?
Please, I only want polite, perfectly worded responses delivered in a
7-byte hex file.

Should I get the Pirelli P4000 SuperTouring P205/50VR-16 or the Dunlop SP
Sport for my 1993 Ford Crown Victoria?

How do you spell Armaggedon? Spectacular? Immobile? Syphilitic Moron?

Also, my company does have much experience with technical communication.
Could you send me all your style guides, process manuals, and templates? I
would really appreciate the help. Make sure to send them in a UNIX tar
file and break them up into 30K files only. Our Internet provider won't
support more than that.

How do you install FreeBSD? I know the part about unwrapping the CD-ROM
but I get lost after that. You can respond to my personal email. Please
keep the instructions brief, I don't have time for any "technical"

Lastly, I wrote a 10,000 page essay on the nature of toejam. Could you
please read it an provide detailed feedback. I really need to get it
edited before next Monday. You can see it on-line (a 25.90 MB PDF file at

Thanks everyone on the list for your help. I am really looking forward to
being a member of this list. From what I hear, everyone is really helpful,
except that loathsome scum Andrew Plato.

Don Jorkfabber
Senior Technical Pecker
Industrial Mice Squashing, Inc.

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