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Subject:Re: What is wrong with this sentence? From:David Neeley <dbneeley -at- gmail -dot- com> To:"TECHWR-L" <techwr-l -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com> Date:Thu, 14 Apr 2005 11:21:44 -0500
Amen to the wordy and ugly!
When you look at a sentence like the original example, ask several questions:
1. Does ABC "provide" anything, or is it the application architects
that do the providing? The most you can say is "ABC has a user
interface that allows you to create folders..."
2. What is the most important aspect to the user? That ABC provides a
user interface? Hardly! Focus, always, on the tasks the *user* can
benefit from and put the benefit up front and center.
On 4/14/05, MaggiRos <maggiros -at- yahoo -dot- com> wrote:
> It's just wordy and ugly.
> ABC provides an interface that lets you create folders....
> ABC provides the XYZ interface, which lets you create
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