RE: First time for everything

Subject: RE: First time for everything
From: "James Barrow" <vrfour -at- verizon -dot- net>
To: <techwr-l -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com>
Date: Sun, 05 Nov 2006 10:51:34 -0800

>On Sunday, November 05, 2006 4:36 AM egalite wrote:
>>James Barrow said:

>>Since the last thing I told my manager before he left to work off-site was
>>that I accepted his offer of full time, I'm guessing that later refusing
>>that offer AND submitting my resignation would burn this bridge. Everyone
>>concur? Disagree?

>I disagree. I'd tell him openly and honestly that you've received a better
>offer. He'll probably kick himself for not getting you to sign on the
>dotted line before he took off. If you think it'll help, ask him if he's
>willing to match it (but be prepared for either outcome).

It's possible. Although my current recruiter said that he could have gotten
me a better salary, it was a struggle getting my manager to meet the
additional 5k per year that I asked for.

>>If I do refuse the full time offer to work for another company, have I
>>violated any sort of ethics?


>>I mean, I did complete the project that I was hired for.


>>Although I believe that honesty is the best policy, what the heck am I
>>going to tell my manager is the reason for declining his offer *and*
>>resigning? I really don't think it's appropriate to discuss the
>>personality conflicts I mentioned above (makes me sound like a whiner).

>I think it's a valid reason, considering we spend most of our waking lives
>at work. Say something like you don't think you'd fit into the corporate
>culture as well as you thought you would. If he wants specifics, you could,
>without mentioning names, outline a few examples of situations where
>conflicts arose where the outcome did not meet your standards or
>expectations. Or mention that you've noticed a significant number of a
>certain personality type that you find difficult to work with. You can say
>these things without sounding like a whiner as long as you keep it

>But, I don't see why you can't just say you got a better offer and leave it
>at that.

My manager has seen at least one incident in which he had to censure a
project manager for inappropriate behavior. I think part of my hesitation
is due to the fact that my manager mentioned "loyalty" three or four times
when offering me the full time position.
>>What should I tell the perspective employers if/when I have the
>>respective interviews? You know the standard question: "Why did you
>>leave your last employer?"

>They're generally not interested in long-winded stories, all they want to
>know is if you've been sacked for criminal behaviour or something.

Hmmmm...I agree with this, although I'm betting that any answer to this
question would generate subsequent questions. For example, if I answered
"There were frequent personality conflicts", a hiring manager would probably
ask "We're a tight knit group here and tempers can flare. Will that be a
problem for you?"

>>Believe me when I say that I am fairly able to deal with just about
>>anybody, but last week was a nightmare. Imagine every
>>quirky/arrogant/abrasive/obnoxious co-worker you've ever had the
>>displeasure to work with, and that was what last week was like for me.

>If it was a once-off, then you shouldn't be too concerned. Everyone has
>off-weeks. If it's ongoing, then I'd advise you to go work somewhere else.

True. These were behaviors that I had seen since I started, but
experiencing them every day for a week was intense. When I left work on
Friday I felt like I had escaped from a federal prison.


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RE: First time for everything: From: egalite

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