Re: Jealousy in the work place

Subject: Re: Jealousy in the work place
From: Keith Hood <klhra -at- yahoo -dot- com>
To: Suzette Leeming <suzette -dot- leeming -at- gmail -dot- com>
Date: Wed, 10 Mar 2010 09:35:58 -0800 (PST)

I've seen a lot of these kind of personality clashes in the workplace, and I have learned that in this kind of battle, a battle for the heart and mind of the boss, victory always goes to the side that shoots first. You MUST be the one who brings the complaint to the boss first. The boss doesn't care about justice. What the boss wants more than anything else is a quick and easy resolution, so he is always inclined to go with his first impression of the situation, which he will get from the first one to complain. Whoever reaches him first will poison the well for the other, regardless of right.

(It is possible have an uncommon boss, one who would actually spend the time and energy to make a reasoned investigation into the situation and try to find the truth of the matter. But they are very few and very far between.)


--- On Wed, 3/10/10, Suzette Leeming <suzette -dot- leeming -at- gmail -dot- com> wrote:

> From: Suzette Leeming <suzette -dot- leeming -at- gmail -dot- com>
> Subject: Re: Jealousy in the work place
> To: "Ned Bedinger" <doc -at- edwordsmith -dot- com>
> Cc: techwr-l -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com
> Date: Wednesday, March 10, 2010, 6:55 AM
> I have to agree that management needs
> to be made aware of what's going on.
> In a past job, years ago, I encountered a similar
> situation. My motto was
> always "kill 'em with kindness" but in that situation it
> wasn't working.
> Every chance this woman got, she would undermine me, gossip
> behind my back
> and spread rumours, delete important files (that were
> always backed up),
> etc. I had to make sure that all conversations were done or
> confirmed in
> writing, just as a CYA.
>
> After several months of this behaviour, I finally took a
> stand and
> confronted her. She reported me to the manager, and I was
> reprimanded for
> causing a "problem" in the department. If I had alerted my
> manager to what
> was going on earlier, it would have all gone down
> differently. It seems she
> was just waiting for me to confront her so that she could
> lay her complaint.
>
> I ended up leaving the company soon after (my choice) and
> after several
> years they hired me back (for more $$). The structure is
> different now, and
> I have nothing to do with this woman, and I am proud to say
> that in almost
> four years, I have never spoken to her, or vice versa.
>
> Suzette Leeming,
>
>
>
> On Tue, Mar 9, 2010 at 5:36 PM, Ned Bedinger <doc -at- edwordsmith -dot- com>
> wrote:
>
> > John Posada wrote:
> > >
> > >
> > > And how long do you think you can keep up with
> staying a step ahead
> > > before you miss something or don't anticipate
> something?  Sounds like
> > > you are devoting a considerable percentage of
> your energy doing this
> > > CYA stuff that you could be devotiong to your
> actual work.
> > >
> >
> > I agree, the problem is a business matter when it
> increases costs or
> > decreases productivity. In one perfect world, that
> would be the only
> > criteria to judge who or what is right or wrong.
> >
> > > They're bullies and until/unless you publicly
> call them on their
> > > stunts, they'll only get more and more brazen as
> they see they can get
> > > away with that crap
> >
> > I picture a confrontation. Since the bully has gotten
> affirmation in the
> > past and will want to play their hand again, the
> confrontation could be
> > protracted, could get ugly in the Darwinian sense
> (survival at stake).
> >
> > > and become more and more frustrated as they see
> > > what they're trying to do isnt working.
> > >
> >
> > Nicely satisfying, but I would involve my manager,
> too. I'd have to be
> > prepared if my manager didn't really want to risk
> antagonizing the bully.
> >
> > I tend to prepare in advance by being proactive when
> looking for work. I
> > look for managers who have come up through the ranks
> of technical
> > writing, and who understand the work, the tools, and
> where real issues
> > lie. They're less likely to be confused by
> smokescreening.
> >
> > Better yet, they're more likely to know why each team
> member is a match
> > for the work and how to work toward business goals
> with their team.
> >
> > To me, team is the operative word. Loosely defined, a
> team is a thing
> > where the only NECESSARY common denominator is ability
> to do the work.
> >
> > The flip side is that team members have to be willing
> and able to work
> > in such a diverse setting, which can amount to being
> v-e-r-y flexible
> > about individual likes and dislikes.
> >
> > The desired outcome of such a manager-mediated
> confrontation would be a
> > sharp decline in the stress that was causing me too
> much CYA activity.
> > It would be pushed back to where 'the work' became the
> point again.
> >
> > My $.02, of course YMMV.
> >
> > Regards,
> >
> > Ned Bedinger
> > doc -at- edwordsmith -dot- com
> >
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Re: Jealousy in the work place: From: Suzette Leeming

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