RE: Creative Labeling

Subject: RE: Creative Labeling
From: "Lippincott, Richard" <RLippincott -at- as-e -dot- com>
To: Hannah Drake <hannah -at- formulatrix -dot- com>, "Brian -dot- Henderson -at- mitchell1 -dot- com" <Brian -dot- Henderson -at- mitchell1 -dot- com>
Date: Wed, 18 Dec 2013 15:32:49 +0000

> On a bottle of laundry detergent:
>*Remove clothing before distributing in washing machine.*

Pro tip: Try really really hard to not misunderstand the intent of that instruction if you happen to be in a Laundromat.

-----Original Message-----
From: techwr-l-bounces+rlippincott=as-e -dot- com -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com [mailto:techwr-l-bounces+rlippincott=as-e -dot- com -at- lists -dot- techwr-l -dot- com] On Behalf Of Hannah Drake
Sent: Tuesday, December 17, 2013 1:20 PM
To: Brian -dot- Henderson -at- mitchell1 -dot- com
Cc: techwr-l
Subject: Re: Creative Labeling

To keep the merriment going:


On Sears hair dryer:
*Do not use while sleeping.*

On a bag of Fritos:
*You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.*

On a bar of Dial soap:
*Directions: Use like regular soap.*

On some Swanson frozen dinners:
*Serving suggestions: Defrost.*

Printed on the bottom of Tesco Tiramisu dessert:
*Do not turn upside down.*

On Marks and Spencer Bread Pudding:
*Product will be hot after heating.*

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
*Do not iron clothes on body.*

On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine:
*Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.*

On Nytol Sleep Aid:
*Warning: May cause drowsiness.*

On most brands of Christmas lights:
*For indoor or outdoor use only.*

On a Japanese food processor:
*Not to be used for the other use.*

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
*Warning: Contains nuts.*

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
*Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.*

On a child's Superman costume:
*Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.*

On a Swedish chain saw:
*Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.*

On a toboggan:
*Beware: Sledge may develop high speed under certain snow conditions.*

On a knife sharpener:
*Caution: knives are sharp.*

On shin pads for cyclists:
*Shin guards cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover.*

On a take away coffee cup:
*Caution: Hot beverages are hot.*

Emergency safety procedures at a US summer camp:
*In case of flood, proceed uphill. In case of flash flood proceed uphill
quickly.*

In a microwave oven manual:
*Do not use for drying pets.*

On the back of a pilot's seat in a Nato aircraft:
*Seat must be facing forward for take-off and landing.*

On the bottom of a cola bottle:
*Do not open here.*

On a Harry Potter wizards broom:
*This broom does not actually fly.*

On a box of aspirin:
*Do not take if allergic to aspirin.*

On a bottle of laundry detergent:
*Remove clothing before distributing in washing machine.*

On a muffin packet:
*Remove wrapper, open mouth, insert muffin, eat.*

In a kettle instruction manual:
*The appliance is switched on by setting the 'ON/OFF' button to the 'ON'
position.*

On a ketchup bottle:
*Instructions: Put on food.*

On a bottle of rum:
*Open bottle before drinking.*

A car park sign:
*Entrance only. Do not enter.*

A sign in a street in Hong Kong:
*Beware of people.*

Rules on a tram in Prague:
*Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be persecuted.*

Sign on newly-renovated ramp entrance, USA:
*Take care: new non-slip surface.*

On a can of air freshener:
*For use by trained personnel only.*

On a bottle of baby lotion:
*Keep away from children.*

On a pair of socks bought in egypt:
*Do not wash.*

On a 500-piece jigsaw puzzle:
*Some assembly required.*

On a can of pepper spray used for self defense:
*May irritate eyes.*

On a Frisbee:
*Warning: may contain small parts.*

In a car handbook:
*In order to get out of car, open door, get out lock doors, and then close
doors.*

On a packet of cashew nut pieces:
*Warning: This product may contain residue of nuts.*

Directions for mosquito repellant:
*Replacing battery: replace old battery with a new one.*

On a birthday card for a one year old:
*Not suitable for children aged under 36 months or less.*

In a hotel bedroom:
*Please do not turn on TV except when in use.*

In a lift in a Japanese hotel:
*Push this button in case anything happens.*

On a toilet cleaning brush:
*Do not use orally.*

On a can of Spray paint:
*Do not spray in your face.*

On a TV remote:
*Not Dishwasher safe.*

On a blowtorch:
*Not used for drying hair.*

On a washing machine inn a launderette:
*No small children.*

On a bottle of hair dye:
*Do not use as Ice Cream topping.*

On a push along lawn mower:
*Not to be used as a hedge trimmer.*

On a box of fireworks:
*Do not put in mouth.*

On the packaging for a wrist watch:
*Warning this is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants.*

In a dishwasher manual:
*Do not allow children to play in dishwasher.*

On a toaster:
*Do not use underwater.*

On a mattress:
*Do not attempt to swallow.*




On Tue, Dec 17, 2013 at 1:13 PM, <Brian -dot- Henderson -at- mitchell1 -dot- com> wrote:

> Anybody who insists on more information than that is a lawyer.
> (and is thereby unqualified to impart useful instruction)
>
> -----Original Message----- From: Steven Janoff
>
> This on a package of athletic tape:
>
> "HOW TO APPLY: The sticky side sticks and the other side doesn't. Tear
> it, cut it, use it."
>
> And at the bottom:
>
> "WARNING: Don't apply tape directly to an open wound (ow). If your
> limb turns an unnatural color and hurts...it's too tight. Quick! Loosen it!"
>
> --
>
>
>
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--
Hannah L. Drake
Lead Technical Documentation Specialist
Formulatrix, Inc.

781-788-0228 x137 (office)
617-610-6456 (cell)
hannah.drake.formulatrix (skype)


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References:
Creative Labeling: From: Janoff, Steven
RE: Creative Labeling: From: Brian.Henderson
Re: Creative Labeling: From: Hannah Drake

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