TechWhirl (TECHWR-L) is a resource for technical writing and technical communications professionals of all experience levels and in all industries to share their experiences and acquire information.
For two decades, technical communicators have turned to TechWhirl to ask and answer questions about the always-changing world of technical communications, such as tools, skills, career paths, methodologies, and emerging industries. The TechWhirl Archives and magazine, created for, by and about technical writers, offer a wealth of knowledge to everyone with an interest in any aspect of technical communications.
On a bag of Fritos:
*You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.*
On a bar of Dial soap:
*Directions: Use like regular soap.*
On some Swanson frozen dinners:
*Serving suggestions: Defrost.*
Printed on the bottom of Tesco Tiramisu dessert:
*Do not turn upside down.*
On Marks and Spencer Bread Pudding:
*Product will be hot after heating.*
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
*Do not iron clothes on body.*
On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine:
*Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.*
On Nytol Sleep Aid:
*Warning: May cause drowsiness.*
On most brands of Christmas lights:
*For indoor or outdoor use only.*
On a Japanese food processor:
*Not to be used for the other use.*
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
*Warning: Contains nuts.*
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
*Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.*
On a child's Superman costume:
*Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.*
On a Swedish chain saw:
*Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.*
On a toboggan:
*Beware: Sledge may develop high speed under certain snow conditions.*
On a knife sharpener:
*Caution: knives are sharp.*
On shin pads for cyclists:
*Shin guards cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover.*
On a take away coffee cup:
*Caution: Hot beverages are hot.*
Emergency safety procedures at a US summer camp:
*In case of flood, proceed uphill. In case of flash flood proceed uphill
quickly.*
In a microwave oven manual:
*Do not use for drying pets.*
On the back of a pilot's seat in a Nato aircraft:
*Seat must be facing forward for take-off and landing.*
On the bottom of a cola bottle:
*Do not open here.*
On a Harry Potter wizards broom:
*This broom does not actually fly.*
On a box of aspirin:
*Do not take if allergic to aspirin.*
On a bottle of laundry detergent:
*Remove clothing before distributing in washing machine.*
On a muffin packet:
*Remove wrapper, open mouth, insert muffin, eat.*
In a kettle instruction manual:
*The appliance is switched on by setting the 'ON/OFF' button to the 'ON'
position.*
On a ketchup bottle:
*Instructions: Put on food.*
On a bottle of rum:
*Open bottle before drinking.*
A car park sign:
*Entrance only. Do not enter.*
A sign in a street in Hong Kong:
*Beware of people.*
Rules on a tram in Prague:
*Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will
be persecuted.*
Sign on newly-renovated ramp entrance, USA:
*Take care: new non-slip surface.*
On a can of air freshener:
*For use by trained personnel only.*
On a bottle of baby lotion:
*Keep away from children.*
On a pair of socks bought in egypt:
*Do not wash.*
On a 500-piece jigsaw puzzle:
*Some assembly required.*
On a can of pepper spray used for self defense:
*May irritate eyes.*
On a Frisbee:
*Warning: may contain small parts.*
In a car handbook:
*In order to get out of car, open door, get out lock doors, and then close
doors.*
On a packet of cashew nut pieces:
*Warning: This product may contain residue of nuts.*
Directions for mosquito repellant:
*Replacing battery: replace old battery with a new one.*
On a birthday card for a one year old:
*Not suitable for children aged under 36 months or less.*
In a hotel bedroom:
*Please do not turn on TV except when in use.*
In a lift in a Japanese hotel:
*Push this button in case anything happens.*
On a toilet cleaning brush:
*Do not use orally.*
On a can of Spray paint:
*Do not spray in your face.*
On a TV remote:
*Not Dishwasher safe.*
On a blowtorch:
*Not used for drying hair.*
On a washing machine inn a launderette:
*No small children.*
On a bottle of hair dye:
*Do not use as Ice Cream topping.*
On a push along lawn mower:
*Not to be used as a hedge trimmer.*
On a box of fireworks:
*Do not put in mouth.*
On the packaging for a wrist watch:
*Warning this is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants.*
In a dishwasher manual:
*Do not allow children to play in dishwasher.*
On a toaster:
*Do not use underwater.*
On a mattress:
*Do not attempt to swallow.*
On Tue, Dec 17, 2013 at 1:13 PM, <Brian -dot- Henderson -at- mitchell1 -dot- com> wrote:
> Anybody who insists on more information than that is a lawyer.
> (and is thereby unqualified to impart useful instruction)
>
> -----Original Message----- From: Steven Janoff
>
> This on a package of athletic tape:
>
> "HOW TO APPLY: The sticky side sticks and the other side doesn't. Tear it,
> cut it, use it."
>
> And at the bottom:
>
> "WARNING: Don't apply tape directly to an open wound (ow). If your limb
> turns an unnatural color and hurts...it's too tight. Quick! Loosen it!"
>
> --
>
>
>
> ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
> New! Doc-to-Help 2013 features the industry's first HTML5 editor for
> authoring.
>
> Learn more: http://bit.ly/ZeOZeQ
>
> ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>
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--
Hannah L. Drake
Lead Technical Documentation Specialist
Formulatrix, Inc.
