Re: Creative Labeling

Subject: Re: Creative Labeling
From: Kathleen MacDowell <kathleen -dot- eamd -at- gmail -dot- com>
To: Hannah Drake <hannah -at- formulatrix -dot- com>
Date: Tue, 17 Dec 2013 18:48:21 -0600

Those are incredibly funny!

Who collected them and shall we do a pool on the % of real ones?

Kathleen


On Tue, Dec 17, 2013 at 12:19 PM, Hannah Drake <hannah -at- formulatrix -dot- com>wrote:

> To keep the merriment going:
>
>
> On Sears hair dryer:
> *Do not use while sleeping.*
>
> On a bag of Fritos:
> *You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.*
>
> On a bar of Dial soap:
> *Directions: Use like regular soap.*
>
> On some Swanson frozen dinners:
> *Serving suggestions: Defrost.*
>
> Printed on the bottom of Tesco Tiramisu dessert:
> *Do not turn upside down.*
>
> On Marks and Spencer Bread Pudding:
> *Product will be hot after heating.*
>
> On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
> *Do not iron clothes on body.*
>
> On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine:
> *Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.*
>
> On Nytol Sleep Aid:
> *Warning: May cause drowsiness.*
>
> On most brands of Christmas lights:
> *For indoor or outdoor use only.*
>
> On a Japanese food processor:
> *Not to be used for the other use.*
>
> On Sainsbury's peanuts:
> *Warning: Contains nuts.*
>
> On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
> *Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.*
>
> On a child's Superman costume:
> *Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.*
>
> On a Swedish chain saw:
> *Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.*
>
> On a toboggan:
> *Beware: Sledge may develop high speed under certain snow conditions.*
>
> On a knife sharpener:
> *Caution: knives are sharp.*
>
> On shin pads for cyclists:
> *Shin guards cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover.*
>
> On a take away coffee cup:
> *Caution: Hot beverages are hot.*
>
> Emergency safety procedures at a US summer camp:
> *In case of flood, proceed uphill. In case of flash flood proceed uphill
> quickly.*
>
> In a microwave oven manual:
> *Do not use for drying pets.*
>
> On the back of a pilot's seat in a Nato aircraft:
> *Seat must be facing forward for take-off and landing.*
>
> On the bottom of a cola bottle:
> *Do not open here.*
>
> On a Harry Potter wizards broom:
> *This broom does not actually fly.*
>
> On a box of aspirin:
> *Do not take if allergic to aspirin.*
>
> On a bottle of laundry detergent:
> *Remove clothing before distributing in washing machine.*
>
> On a muffin packet:
> *Remove wrapper, open mouth, insert muffin, eat.*
>
> In a kettle instruction manual:
> *The appliance is switched on by setting the 'ON/OFF' button to the 'ON'
> position.*
>
> On a ketchup bottle:
> *Instructions: Put on food.*
>
> On a bottle of rum:
> *Open bottle before drinking.*
>
> A car park sign:
> *Entrance only. Do not enter.*
>
> A sign in a street in Hong Kong:
> *Beware of people.*
>
> Rules on a tram in Prague:
> *Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will
> be persecuted.*
>
> Sign on newly-renovated ramp entrance, USA:
> *Take care: new non-slip surface.*
>
> On a can of air freshener:
> *For use by trained personnel only.*
>
> On a bottle of baby lotion:
> *Keep away from children.*
>
> On a pair of socks bought in egypt:
> *Do not wash.*
>
> On a 500-piece jigsaw puzzle:
> *Some assembly required.*
>
> On a can of pepper spray used for self defense:
> *May irritate eyes.*
>
> On a Frisbee:
> *Warning: may contain small parts.*
>
> In a car handbook:
> *In order to get out of car, open door, get out lock doors, and then close
> doors.*
>
> On a packet of cashew nut pieces:
> *Warning: This product may contain residue of nuts.*
>
> Directions for mosquito repellant:
> *Replacing battery: replace old battery with a new one.*
>
> On a birthday card for a one year old:
> *Not suitable for children aged under 36 months or less.*
>
> In a hotel bedroom:
> *Please do not turn on TV except when in use.*
>
> In a lift in a Japanese hotel:
> *Push this button in case anything happens.*
>
> On a toilet cleaning brush:
> *Do not use orally.*
>
> On a can of Spray paint:
> *Do not spray in your face.*
>
> On a TV remote:
> *Not Dishwasher safe.*
>
> On a blowtorch:
> *Not used for drying hair.*
>
> On a washing machine inn a launderette:
> *No small children.*
>
> On a bottle of hair dye:
> *Do not use as Ice Cream topping.*
>
> On a push along lawn mower:
> *Not to be used as a hedge trimmer.*
>
> On a box of fireworks:
> *Do not put in mouth.*
>
> On the packaging for a wrist watch:
> *Warning this is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants.*
>
> In a dishwasher manual:
> *Do not allow children to play in dishwasher.*
>
> On a toaster:
> *Do not use underwater.*
>
> On a mattress:
> *Do not attempt to swallow.*
>
>
>
>
> On Tue, Dec 17, 2013 at 1:13 PM, <Brian -dot- Henderson -at- mitchell1 -dot- com> wrote:
>
> > Anybody who insists on more information than that is a lawyer.
> > (and is thereby unqualified to impart useful instruction)
> >
> > -----Original Message----- From: Steven Janoff
> >
> > This on a package of athletic tape:
> >
> > "HOW TO APPLY: The sticky side sticks and the other side doesn't. Tear
> it,
> > cut it, use it."
> >
> > And at the bottom:
> >
> > "WARNING: Don't apply tape directly to an open wound (ow). If your limb
> > turns an unnatural color and hurts...it's too tight. Quick! Loosen it!"
> >
> > --
> >
> >
> >
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>
>
> --
> Hannah L. Drake
> Lead Technical Documentation Specialist
> Formulatrix, Inc.
>
> 781-788-0228 x137 (office)
> 617-610-6456 (cell)
> hannah.drake.formulatrix (skype)
>
>
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>
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>
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>
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>



--
Kathleen MacDowell
kathleen -dot- eamd -at- gmail -dot- com


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Follow-Ups:

References:
Creative Labeling: From: Janoff, Steven
RE: Creative Labeling: From: Brian.Henderson
Re: Creative Labeling: From: Hannah Drake

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