Re: offline courtesy among list members

Subject: Re: offline courtesy among list members
From: Char James-Tanny <CharJT -at- helpstuff -dot- com>
To: "TECHWR-L" <techwr-l -at- lists -dot- raycomm -dot- com>
Date: Tue, 18 Dec 2001 10:01:42 -0500

I agree with Pete (and wonder if our mothers live near each other, as mine told me
just about the same thing several years ago!).

I spend a lot of time in a week responding to people's requests and I'm thrilled
when someone writes back to say "thanks." This doesn't mean that I want to start an

endless cycle of "you're welcome," "no, really, thank you!" means that I
appreciate someone saying "thank you" to acknowledge the time I've spent answering
their question.

Keith, I don't think you're whining...I think that sometimes people forget that
there are real people behind the e-mail address. After all, if I called you on the
phone to ask a question, I wouldn't just hang up after you answered me...I would
say "thanks."

I look favorably upon those who send me a thanks. I'm more likely to look fondly on

their future e-mails because I know that I'll get an acknowledgement. This doesn't
mean that I don't answer those who never say it...I'm just happier responding to
those who do.

And I don't agree with Matthew's reasons. When someone asks me a question and I
respond, I recognize the next e-mail I receive from that person. My server does
have to process the e-mail, but it also process the dozens of spam letters I
receive in a day, so I don't have any problem with it processing one that I want!
E-mail doesn't interrupt me while I'm working...I don't worry about e-mail if I'm
working and I do look for it when I need a break. And with a cable modem, bandwidth

isn't an issue.

Everyone likes to be appreciated :-)

Char James-Tanny (mailto:CharJT -at- helpstuff -dot- com)
JTF Associates, Inc. (

Consulting and Development for WinHelp, HTML Help, and Web-based Help
Adjunct Faculty, Bentley College
RoboHelp Advisory Board and RoboHelp Certified Instructor

> I couldn't disagree more with Matthew. I am assuming he must be very old
> because his response reminds me of something my mother said a few years ago:
> "I'm too old to be polite." Matthew can justify rudeness any way he likes
> and I have no doubt that his justification makes sense to him. However, in
> an advanced society, the rules of etiquette are among the few things that
> separate us from a developing 3rd world country. Nothing gets my dander up
> faster than to hold a door for someone and get no response. Sure, it's not
> the most important thing that happens in my world, it's simply an expression
> of what was once called "common courtesy".

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RE: offline courtesy among list members: From: Pete Sanborn

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